Sometimes, I try to ask myself, " who am I? " Why should I act and talk so differently from myself. I think I am similar to ' Dr. Jekyll ', who is so hypocritical. My mum always encourages me to be brave enough to stand up and speak up for myself. Anyways, I don't dare.... and it causes me to hate myself. Why can't I just speak straight to the point? Why should I always beat around the bush until someone cannot get what I try to say? Is that because of I am timid or coward? Once again, I hate myself...
Maybe it's just me... A little girl who don't dare to speak up for herself besides expressing her own frame of mind in front of other people.
I always think that this world is not like a " puppy world ", which is unpolluted, pure, simple and full of loves. On the contrary, it's full of artifice, hate, doubtful.... the only survivor for this world is the strongest one.
Nikos Kazantzakis once said that since we cannot change the reality, let us change the eyes that see the reality.