Friendship

Is there really a true friendship on the earth?
If there is one, i will appreciate it very much.
Friends are those who are willing to share happiness and sadness with us. They will not take advantage of us, they will also not backstab us or even say bad things behind us or jealous of what we have...
If there is true friendship, i will treasure it as a treasure of priceless worth.
My friend, who seems like my best friend is actually not. What do i mean? Most of my classmate think that i have a very good friendship with my ' best friend '... No! It isn't true. But... I don't dare to say it out. I am scared that i will hurt her. She is my friend but not the ' best ' one. She always like to sophistry and thinks that she is the right one and we are the wrong one. She is moody. The worst is that i find that i cannot communicate with her... Her jokes aren't funny but i don't dare to tell her because i am not her, i am not the kind of person who talks so straight, and i just try my best to pretend as if the jokes are really funny.
I hate myself. I wonder why i want to act so sham. It's not me.
Okay.... i think i have to stop now as i am getting angry and angry. And my cells are going to die.. Anyway, she is still my friend but not included in the ' true friends group'.